


The Feeling™

by 373829g



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Corona - Freeform, Coronavirus, First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Quarantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/373829g/pseuds/373829g
Summary: Corona happens and Jefferson and Hamilton find themselves missing each other
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson
Comments: 22
Kudos: 59





	The Feeling™

Jefferson plopped down on his large recliner and sunk down into the cushions. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. It opened up to the news. He sighed at the constant reminder of the world’s current predicament and changed the channel. He sunk further into his chair and threw his head back, letting his eyes flutter closed. Then he heard a voice from the TV that startled him and made him look up. It sounded oddly like Hamilton. He looked at the TV to see who was really speaking. He was disappointed to find that it was, in fact, not Hamilton. 

Jefferson was confused as to why he was disappointed by that. ‘That’s a good thing,’ his mind automatically supplied him. He didn’t want to be bothered by Hamilton. Whether he was actually there or not. But his subconscious betrayed him with feelings of nostalgia towards the man. He frowned and sat up, rubbing his eyes. ‘I must be exhausted if I think I miss Hamilton.’ He was very tired, yes, but the feeling would not go away with a nap. He of course didn’t know that, so he went to his bedroom and passed out on the bed. 

Jefferson woke up a little over an hour later. He laid there for a moment, regaining his thoughts and mental processing skills. Then he remembered the odd longing for Hamilton and shot up in bed when he realized it was still there. He shook his head and crawled out of bed to make himself some food. He couldn’t deal with this now.

\--  
Hamilton sat down at the lonely kitchen table with a bowl of macaroni. He mindlessly picked at it, piercing each individual noodle one by one. ‘Too bad Jefferson isn’t here.’ The thought struck him like a pound of bricks. His eyes widened in dread and despair at the feeling of wishing Jefferson was in the same room as him. 

He quickly finished his macaroni. The only explanation he could think of was that a lack of nutritional value for his body to consume was getting to his brain. Not exactly logical but he didn’t care at the moment. He got up and rinsed his bowl, growling as the feeling didn’t go away. He grumpily dropped on his couch and pulled out his phone to distract himself from the infection. 

\--

It’s been over three weeks since The Incident and neither of the young men had been able to rid themselves of the longing for each other. If anything, it’s gotten worse. Both men had found themselves almost constantly wishing the other was there. Jefferson was finally able to pinpoint a more specific feeling within the jumble. He’s been able to identify that he missed Hamilton’s company. He missed constantly arguing and grappling with him. Why the hell he's missing Hamilton of all people was still beyond him but at least he was making progress. 

Hamilton on the other hand wasn't quite so in touch with his emotions anymore. So he still hadn't been able to grab anything from the staticky mess of emotions. He wasn't even sure which ones were related to Jefferson or which ones had nothing to do with the self appointed Macaroni God at all. Nevertheless he didn't like these feelings and he wanted them to go away.

\--

It’s been four and a half months now and the feelings were stronger than ever. The men had been able to shove them down and ignore them better, as with almost all of their other emotions but they were still there. Ever present and annoying. Jefferson was no closer to figuring the feelings out but Hamilton had been able to reach the same conclusion Jefferson did. 

Hamilton ran out of milk and the blasted Walmart app was down for maintenance. He grabbed his mask and his car keys and made his way to the store. Jefferson had gotten his paycheck so he made his way to the store as well for his biweekly grocery shopping. 

Hamilton grumbled to himself as he put his mask on. He wasn’t quite sure what he was angry about at the moment. He deduced it was either the masks, the whole corona situation that caused him to need the masks, or the fucking Nostalgia de Jefferson™. 

Jefferson walked in and out of the aisles, being constantly annoyed at the people not following the fucking one way signs. It wasn't that hard to fucking read. He got all of the shelf food first and then made his way to the back to get his frozen foods and dry products. 

As he was making his way down the large walkway he saw Hamilton marching very hotheadedly towards the milk. Hamilton swung open the glass door to the compartment, grabbed a couple gallons of milk and put them in his handheld basket. He went to head back where he had come before stopping and twirling around. He locked eyes with Jefferson and stopped, his breath catching in his throat. Jefferson looked away awkwardly and started to turn around but Hamilton caught up before he could move the cart even an inch. 

“Jefferson,” Hamilton greeted, trying to convey his normal malice. 

“Hamilton,” Jefferson replied the same. They were silent for several uncomfortable seconds. 

“It’s been a while,” Hamilton said. Jefferson nodded. 

They continued to talk for some time, loosening up to each other. And The Feeling seemed to have gone away as well, not that they were focused on that. But when Hamilton had prompted Jefferson with “How have you been feeling?” he thought about it, and this was when he realized he couldn’t feel it anymore. But there was something else. And he didn’t like it. He didn’t like it one bit. Because this - he’d felt this before. He already knew what it was. He panicked a bit at the realization. 

“Well um, I should really get going. I have a lot of work to catch up on and my ice cream’s gonna melt if I don’t get home soon,” he said, cautiously looking back up into Hamilton’s eyes.

“Oh,” Hamilton muttered sadly. “Yeah, of course. I should probably get going too,” he said, smiling cheerfully at him. Hamilton waved goodbye and walked past him to grab some chocolate milk before making his way back where he had originally come from. Jefferson frowned and glared down at his cart before pushing up to the front to check out. 

\--

Hamilton came to a halt when he rounded the corner and left Jefferson’s sight. He’d realized the moment he saw Jefferson what the feelings were and what they meant. And when they changed slightly into that blasted affection, he inwardly cringed. This wasn’t okay. He couldn’t... How could he like Jefferson? 

He angrily sighed and kept walking. He grabbed a couple boxes of Zebra cakes on his way to the cashier. He went through self checkout to be sure to avoid Jefferson and made his way to his car. He put the bags in the trunk and got into the driver's seat. He immediately let out a yell of frustration. Was ‘feelings for your enemy’ a symptom of Coronavirus? That had to be the only explanation. He was infected and it was driving him mad. Alas, he knew that wasn’t the case, as he dropped his head down onto the steering wheel in defeat. 

\--

Jefferson put away his groceries haphazardly, grabbing a pack of oreos before throwing himself onto the couch. He layed back, and ate the oreos dry, not having the emotional capacity to spend time waiting for each individual cookie to soak up the milk and soften. He didn’t even save up the cream for one big creamy ball of heaven. He just snacked on them as if they were chips, dwelling on the newfound information he was presented not twenty minutes prior. He stared blankly ahead as he struggled to process the information. 

He liked Hamilton. Of all the people for him to fall for, Hamilton would be at the very bottom of the list. That is if he even made it on there in the first place. But not only that. Hamilton had been nice to him. Talked to him. In a friendly manner. No arguing had taken place at the store. If any of their co-workers had seen the debacle they would've thought they were dreaming. Hamilton even seemed to have wanted to talk to him. The way he caught up to him quickly before Jefferson could escape. Could it be possible that he feels the same way? No. Of course not. Hamilton hates Jefferson just as much as Jefferson had despised Hamilton prior to this pandemic. 

Nevertheless, Jefferson couldn’t rid himself of the idea. The way Hamilton smiled and laughed with him, his brain wouldn't supply him with any other answer. He knew there had to be another one though. Why else would this be happening? But over the course of the next several weeks, Jefferson indulged himself in fantasies of the other man. Of what they could be if Hamilton really did feel the same way about him.

Jefferson walked out of his apartment and down to a nearby park. It was dark outside but it was the middle of summer, so if he wanted to go on walks then he had to do it late at night or early in the morning. He'd never been to this particular park before. He usually drove around town to a different park with higher public ratings but he didn’t feel like driving at the moment. He never really liked driving in the dark anyways. 

Jefferson looked around at the moonlit trees. The landscape was beautiful. He walked along the sidewalk, which led him around a lake. He came to a stop about halfway around the trail at a motorized swinging bench. Someone else was already sitting on one end. He wasn't shy though, so he approached them.

“Do you mind if I join you?” he asked the silhouetted stanger. They shook their head. 

“Go ahead,” a familiar voice replied.

“Thanks,” he said, sitting down on the other side of the bench. There was about a foot of space in between them so it wasn't too uncomfortable. The bench was already swaying slightly. Jefferson pulled a leg up and rested his head on his knee, letting the other leg hang down. He and the stranger sat there in silence. However, the voice bothered him. He felt like he knew that voice. It was really quiet and meek. Seemed really sad. But nonetheless he couldn't shake the familiarity. He was pulled out of his thoughts when the stranger sniffled. He looked over.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice lowered a bit. The srager flinched a bit. 

“Y-yeah I’m- I’m fine,” they said. “‘S just allergies,” there was despondency and a bit of malice in their tone. Jefferson recognized it immediately. Crap.

“Hamilton?” he asked. The stranger looked up, revealing their face inside their sweater hood. Sure enough, there was Hamilton's pale face in the moonlight. Attractive as ever. His eyes widened when he saw him. He visibly gulped and looked back down at the ground. 

Jefferson raised a cautious hand to his shoulder. Hamilton flinched at the unexpected touch. “What do you want, Jefferson?” he asked. He didn’t sound angry. Jefferson could tell he was trying to sound angry but he simply didn’t. He didn’t sound upset as he previously had though. He sounded tense. But also at ease? Jefferson wasn’t quite sure. But feelings were complicated so he accepted that it may be both. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked him. Hamilton sucked in a breath. 

“Nothing, I said I’m fine,” 

Jefferson frowned. Sure, he sounded decent now, but that doesn’t change the fact that not one minute ago he was audibly on the verge of tears. “Hamilton,” he pushed. Hamilton huffed.

“Drop it Jefferson. I’m fine now,”

“I want to help,”

Hamilton looked back up at him. His expression was unreadable. He looked simultaneously broken and ecstatic. Jefferson studied him for a moment before scooting closer to him. Hamilton’s breath caught in his throat. “Please, let me help,” he said quietly. Hamilton stared at him for a moment, seemingly not breathing. He looked back down and let his eyes flutter closed. 

“Why?”

“I-” Jefferson wasn’t quite sure how to answer that nicely and still keep up appearances. ‘Fuck appearances. Image can bite my ass’. “Because I care about you,” he said. He almost regretted the words the moment they left his mouth. 

“You care?” Hamilton repeated, tone ever so slightly degrading. “All you ever do is insult me and try to end my career,” 

“I know-” Jefferson looked away. “And I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” he promised. Hamilton was silent for a moment. 

“I’m- I’m sorry too,” Hamilton muttered. Jefferson squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I can’t tell you,” 

“Why?” Jefferson wondered.

“Because it’s about you,” Hamilton murmured under his breath. Jefferson wasn’t quite sure he’d heard him right. He didn’t say anything, not sure what he should say. Hamilton spoke up again. “I like you,” he said bluntly, turning towards him. Jefferson’s breath caught in his throat.

Hamilton stared at him for a moment before turning back to gaze down at the ground. “I understand if you don’t feel the same way,” he started. “But I figure it’s better to learn that now than spend god knows how long pining over you only to be let down later,” he sighed, pulling his legs up and hugging them to his chest.

“Hamilton,” Jefferson voiced, barely above a whisper. Hamilton looked up at him, feigning fake confidence. He silently waited for Jefferson to finish speaking, waited for him to say no, whether it be harshly or kindly. He braced himself for impact. Meanwhile Jefferson was struggling with grasping the situation. Hamilton felt the same way about him! He didn’t know what to say. So he didn’t. 

He slowly leaned in, eyes flickering to Hamilton’s lips, plump and pink and slightly chapped. Hamilton leaned in as well, stretching up as Jefferson leaned down. They were inches away from each other now.

“I like you too,” he whispered, so quiet he wasn’t even sure if Hamilton heard it. Then they closed the distance between them, lips connecting with sweet bliss. It was intoxicating. Hamilton pushed up a bit, deepening the kiss. Jefferson tilted his head and reached his hand up to rest on Hamilton’s cheek, pulling him closer still. Hamilton leaned forward and placed a hand on Jefferson’s knee. They eventually pulled apart for air, panting slightly and resting their foreheads together. 

Jefferson smiled and laughed lightheartedly. Hamilton matched his grin and leaned into him, cuddling up under his shoulder. Jefferson raised his arm up and wrapped it around him, pulling him close. They stayed like that for a while, watching the ducks swim across the lake. Eventually Hamilton dozed off, which Jefferson found endearing to say the least. 

Hamilton’s head slipped off Jefferson’s shoulder a bit and he jerked awake with a noise somewhat resembling a snort. Jefferson smiled and ran a hand through his hair. 

“You should go home,” he said quietly. “Get some rest,” Hamilton frowned and scrunched his eyes a bit, turning and burying his face in his shoulder. 

“I live on the other side of town,” he muttered. 

“You can stay at my place, I live just across the street from the park,” Jefferson suggested. Hamilton looked up at the expensive apartment complex on the other side of the parking lot across the lake. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. 

“Okay,” he whistled, barely audible. Jefferson helped him up and they walked the rest of the trail hand in hand. When they made it to his apartment, Hamilton immediately crashed on the sofa. Jefferson laughed quietly and grabbed his wrist, dragging him to the guest bedroom. He gave him a pair of clothes to sleep in. They were far too big on him but that just made him all the more adorable. 

Jefferson gently laid him down, pulling the covers up over his shoulders. He gave him a quiet “Goodnight,” and turned to leave for his own bed. 

“Stay with me?” he heard Hamilton say. He turned around and faced him. His eyes were still drowsy, but irresistibly pleading. He smiled. 

“Of course,” he said. “Just let me change first,” Hamilton nodded and let his eyes flutter back closed. He went to his room and quickly changed into a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. He came back to the guest bedroom and crawled into bed.

Hamilton tiredly turned around and draped his arms around him, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Jefferson smiled and ran a hand through his hair again, lightly twirling it in his fingers. Hamilton sighed contentedly and sunk into him. Jefferson planted a kiss on his forehead. 

“Goodnight,” he said. Hamilton muttered a response. After a few minutes he was snoring lightly. Jefferson’s hand went lax when he fell asleep shortly after, a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to DaFlangstLairde for being the beta for this fic. They were an amazing asset to this story and I cannot thank them enough. : D


End file.
